What if Mario was french?

I was recently reading an article about how Mario would be like if he were Spanish, so I wondered... What if he were french?

He would be called Pierre, and along with his brother Jacques, he'd attempt to rescue Queen Juliane from the evil Bacon Minister, and bring peace back to the New Cheeseya. Pierre would use baguettes as power-ups, which would make him dawn a striped shirt and twirly mustache. The game would be called Fancy Pierre Siblings.



Fancy Pierre Siblings 2 would be about Pierre eating some bad cheese and having a nightmare about a world made of potatoes. You could play as Pierre and Jacques, of course, but now you could play as Queen Juliane and her assistant, Handsome Lion. Years later, the gaming community would get angry because the real Fancy Pierre Siblings 2 was only released in France.

Fancy Pierre Siblings 3 would return to the normal series, and would be about the Bacon Minister, who is now named Bakester, and his 7 nephews took over New Cheeseya. New Power-Ups would be added, such as the Beaver Tail and the Squirrel Suit. Everyone would love this game and it would set the standard for Fancy Pierre Siblings to come.

Fancy Pierre Republic would be about Pierre, who travels to Frog Island, and meets a frog named Louis, who attacks enemies with his trombone. Bakester would once again kidnap Queen Juliane, and would trap all of the frog on Frog Island in fish bowls. This game's new power up would be some trousers that would let you float in the air.

The company that made Pierre, Winetendo, would then release a portable gaming system, called the GameGarcon. Of course, Pierre would have a game on this system, aptly titled Fancy Pierre Province.

Fancy Pierre 1812 would introduce Pierre into 3D, and let him fight Bakester once again. Fancy Pierre 1812 would be about how Bakester kidnapped Queen Juliane once again, and would have levels concealed in clocks hanging on the walls of Juliane's Temple.

Fancy Pierre Raining would be about how Pierre would travel to Pear Island and would have to clean up dust with F.E.A.T.H.E.R.D.U.S.T.E.R., his handy robotic cleaning pal who sprayed air. Bakester would kidnap Juliane, and convince his new nephew that she was his aunt. This game would be ridiculed for actually adding innovative new gameplay to the series, instead of just jumping on enemies all the time.

Fancy Pierre Solar System would be about Pierre traveling into space, having to collect Suns to once again save New Cheeseya from Bakester.

Fancy Pierre 3D would be an upcoming game for the Winetendo CheeseDS. It would return to the classic style of gameplay introduced in Fancy Pierre 1812, but would add elements from Fancy Pierre Siblings 3 and Fancy Pierre Solar System.


But I can only wish for such things. Fancy Pierre will live on in my mind, and in my heart.